Coming Soon: Bonnie’s Best Blogs in 3 E-Books

by bonnie on November 9, 2013

Dear Readers:

After a frustrating three months struggling to fix a badly hacked website, I’m happy to say we’re up and running with new, updated software, and much more security.  Although you will no longer have direct access to the  32 blog posts that appeared on this site before the hacking,  we do have good news in this regard.  I will be gathering the best of these writings into three electronic books that should be published by the first of the year.   

Please note that the opt in box in the right hand column is inactive.  Thus, if you would like to be notified as to when each of these e-books will be available, and how you can access them, please send your name and email address to:

To give you a taste of what’s in store, I’ve listed  the titles of each post just as it appeared here between 2009 and 2013.

But before you scroll down to look over this list, I’d like to share a thought with you that moved me to tears:

“A deeply sensitive and compassionate lover is one who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”

May you experience such soulful loving in your life.


                                                                          Bonnie Gabriel


Words Are Wonderful Aphrodisiacs

The Subtlety and Variety of Erotic Talk

Erotic Talk: Overcoming Fear and Shyness

Erotic Empathy

Your Daily Verbal Aphrodisiac

Erotic Appreciation

Sensually Speaking: Your Voice

Sensual Listening: Fine Tuning Links to Blog Posts

Your Erotic Ear

Sexy Talk Secrets: An Explicit New Guide

Healing Words and Sensual Touch

Sensual Nurturing

Man to Woman: A Heart Healing Revelation

Healing a Man’s Heart

A Man’s Heart Laid Bare

Undefended Love

Language for Lovers: Healing Conflicts

Hypnosis for Lovers: Intensifying Intimacy and Sensuality

Sex, Romance and Other Dangerous Drugs

Sacred Sexuality

Passionate Play

Erotic Troubadours – Part 1

Erotic Troubadours – Part 2

The Alchemy of Giving and Receiving

Talk Sacred to Me, Baby – Part 1

Talk Sacred to Me, Baby – Part 2

Talk Sacred to Me, Baby – Part 3

Talk Sacred to Me, Baby – Part 4

Body Blessings: Sacred Rituals to Arouse and Heal

Helping Your Lover Regain Self Worth

Keys to Enhanced Intimacy

Sexy Talk Secrets


Sexy Talk Secrets: An Explicit New Guide

by bonnie on February 4, 2012

Since my book The Fine Art of Erotic Talk came out in 1996 (revised and updated in both paperback and Kindle  e-book formats in 2011), I’ve been looking for a worthy successor.  At the time I was the only author who explored the subject in all it’s variety and complexity.  Since then a number of other publications have breached the subject,  most recently, one by an Oprah endorsed author named Mike Webb.   And I have to say, that so far, it’s my favorite!

It’s called Dirty Talk Secrets: The Ultimate Guide to Sexy Talk
It’s easy to read, edgy, and direct, with lots of hot and highly imaginative examples of how to use words to heat up your lovemaking.   It’s definitely from a male perspective, although the author does take time to point out the differences between men and women in their responses to verbal erotica.  In fact, in one of my favorite parts of the book, Webb offers both a male and female view of  dirty talk.   What is particularly useful and revealing are his respective lists of what women and men most want to know about each other’s  sexual responses and desires.

Webb gives many examples of sexy talk,  from soft to hard core., and offers extensive lists of alternate terms for male and female erogenous zones.  What I find particularly appealing and new in that vein, is his inclusion of Asian poetic phrases.  So if clinical words and randy phrases turn you or your partner off, you can describe your lover’s spicy bits as her “golden crevice” or her “precious pearl”, or his “celestial dragon” or “healing sceptor.   Of course, Webb gives his due to raw and raunchy words as well.   So there’s truly something for everyone or shall I say,  just about every erotic mood.   The only types of phrases I found missing were the more gentle nurturing words that help to bond lovers when they’re feeling particularly vulnerable.  However, I devoted an entire chapter to “Sensual Words That Nurture and Heal” in my book, so you do have a resources for ideas on this particular genre.

That does not mean that Webb ignores issues of intimacy. He discusses the importance of loving communication and building trust.  And he truly encourages readers to reframe any conception they may have that dirty talk is shameful or nasty.  To this end he describes dirty talk as “an art form” and even quotes passages from the bible that have an erotic aura:  “Your rounded thighs are like jewels, the work of a master hand. Your navel is a rounded bowl that never lacks mixed wine”.

The book also includes a female perspective from Mike’s friend,  TiKi Kirk.  She makes a potent contribution by sharing two explicit, sizzling letters she wrote to her husband.  It’s in a segment called, “Anticipation”, which involves tips on how to keep the erotic connection alive when you and your partner are away from one another.  Her new take on the old children’s game of “red light, green light” is truly inventive, inspired and very hot!

The one segment of the book, about which I have a strong reservation, is Mike’s paragraph on the sharing of erotic fantasies.  He cautions readers to refrain from sharing fantasies that you have no intention of acting out, such as “threesomes, group sex, farm animals, sex in public, bondage, etc”.  His concern is that such sharing may embed in your partner’s mind the desire to act them out.  I have found that not only can the sharing of such forbidden fantasies heat up your sex life and deepen your emotional connection, but can actually dissolve the desire to act them out.
E.g.  I’ve know couples (myself, included) who share fantasies about making love with wild horses, having sex in public, etc., but have no intention of acting them out.  What’s more, many of us continue to enjoy sharing words of verbal bondage without using physical restraints. Of course, in so doing, it’s extremely important that you openly communicate about your desires and limits to your partner before engaging in such shared fantasies.  That’s why I included in my book an exercise called, “creating an erotic safety net with words”, and a segment on “ground rules for playing with erotic power”.

But that’s just one quibble in a book that is filled with tons of sexy suggestions, inspired ideas, and  provocative phrases .  So, if you want a truly comprehensive, practical and very spicy guide to erotic talk, I heartily recommend Dirty Talk Secrets.

In a similar vein, Webb has authored Frisky Foreplay and Stroke by Stroke,  as well as  a host of other books and games on all aspects of relationships.

If you have a chance to read any of these publications, I welcome your feedback.   You may reply to this blog post, or,  if you wish a more private venue, send me an email at:


Sex, Romance & Other Dangerous Drugs

November 10, 2011

Dear Reader: Yes, I’ve been out of touch for the past couple of months and apologize for my long, but necessitated absence. (Wish I had a clone or doppleganger!) Now, I’m back with a brief review of a new book on love and sex addiction as well as my personal take on the subject and […]

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Healing a Man’s Heart

July 12, 2011

Dear Readers: In October, 2010, I published Jeff Brown’s stunning, heart wrenching and exquisitely vulnerable, “Apologies to the Divine Feminine”.  In it, he expresses his regret at all the ways that he, and particularly mankind in general, have dishonored and wounded women.  In an equally powerful treatise Jeff expresses what he would most long to […]

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Empowered, Awakened Men

June 3, 2011

Newsflash! I’m very excited to tell you about a FREE telesummit JUST FOR MEN ….and the women who love them.  It’s long overdue and much needed!   And while it’s focused on men, it will also profoundly help us, women, to understand the men in our lives better – be they sons, husbands, fathers or lovers. The […]

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A Man’s Heart Laid Bare

May 15, 2011

I’d like to share an amazing poem with you by Bruce Boehlen, co-founder of The Mankind Project. In it, he expresses  vulnerability, transparency  and the ability to hold the pain in his heart with compassion and care. I found it extremely moving.   What’s more, I believe that a man so willing to embrace and express […]

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Language for Lovers: Healing Conflicts

April 4, 2011

I’d like to share some wise words from Scott Catamas, couples counselor, and master coach and teacher in the art of compassionate communications (NVC). He presents workshops using this powerful approach throughout the United States and Europe. Scott:  My experience working with hundreds of couples is that you and your partner’s unhealed stuff from the […]

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Hypnosis for Lovers: Intensifing Intimacy & Sensuality

January 27, 2011

Here is a transcript of my recent interview with Donny Regal,  events coordinator and compassionate communications  teacher at Celebrations of love in Corte Madera, California.  In it he describes a powerful process that lovers can use with one another to bring tremendous pleasure and fulfillment into their relationship. _______________________ Bonnie Gabriel (BG):  I’d like to […]

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Keys to Enhanced Intimacy

December 2, 2010

Today, I’d like to share with you an email I received from a dear friend and colleague, Francesca Gentille.   In it, she shares the wisdom she’s gained as a couples counselor, healer and sex therapist.   You can also find in depth discussions of many of these issues in my book, The Fine Art of Erotic […]

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Man to Woman: A Heart-Healing Revelation

October 23, 2010

In all close relationships, when we make it safe for one another to share the parts of our inner being that feel wounded, blocked, unloved, shamed, and profoundly vulnerable, we can help each other to heal and flourish.  What’s more,  when we create this safe, compassionate atmosphere with a lover, it can infuse our lovemaking […]

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