Keys to Enhanced Intimacy

by bonnie on December 2, 2010

Today, I’d like to share with you an email I received from a dear friend and colleague, Francesca Gentille.   In it, she shares the wisdom she’s gained as a couples counselor, healer and sex therapist.   You can also find in depth discussions of many of these issues in my book, The Fine Art of Erotic Talk.   Here are some of these points beautifully summarized  by Francesca.

If you wish, print out this blog page and keep it near your bed as a guide for ways to bring  greater joy and intimacy into your love life.

Keys To Enhanced Intimacy

by Francesca Gentille


How to understand the opposite sex

“Men and women want the same things, we just prioritize them differently. If you relate to someone the way they relate to you, you’ll be speaking their language.”

Overcoming the fear of commitment

“We’ve all been hurt and carry distrust. We fall in love and want to commit to the person who brings forth the best in us and fulfills the secret dream of love.”

Becoming the lover they never forget

“Remember that when we touch a body, we also touch a soul. Listen to breath, heat, cold, energy and emotion. The BodySoul gives constant feedback.”

Cultural diversity in every relationship

“Each person carries a unique inner landscape of culture, history, and traditions.This landscape has blind spots resulting in how we think it should be done. When you feel stuck in a “should” that binds, ask yourself, how would I look at this as if I were raised in another culture?”

Growing and sustaining love in a relationship

“New relationships obsess on all the visual and sensual memories of what delights them in their partner. Old relationships often focus their thoughts on what is not working. Keep it fresh by choosing to recall, think about and visualize the memories of love. Each thought creates either The Book of Growing Love OR The Book Of Ending the Relationship .”

How Sacred Sexuality supports abuse recovery

“When we are abused, we have been objectified; yelled at, touched, handled,and made to witness in ways that broke trust, and disregarded the personal choice of our bodies, minds, emotions and spirits. We have been related to with the very opposite of the sacred. Sacred sexuality is slow, conscious, connective, honoring, and revering. It teaches practices that deepen relating. We feel precious, and worthy of care. Especially with ourselves.”

For other insightful resources and great Christmas/Hannukah gifts for your beloved, check out Bonnie’s Bookstore, Boutique for Lovers, Board Games & Other Playful Adventures for Lovers, and Your Daily Verbal Aphrodisiac.

May you have a delicious, delightful holiday season.

Bonnie Gabriel

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